Visit with the Little Boys

We had a visit from our little nephews just after Christmas. These are the little guys we had in foster care when they were 2 years old and 9 months old. We had them for about two weeks while the Lord was making ready their forever home. If you missed it, you can read about that  here.

sweet brothers

Will's First Year of High School at Home

Well, this school year has come to a close, and the new one is just around the corner. Well, kind of :). This year will be the first in a long time that I am choosing not to follow along with the school calendar (public or private) for our homeschool. Kate graduated in May and will be starting college classes at the end of August, so I'm thinking Will and I will probably wait to start school when she does.

A Birthday and My Frustrations

My oldest child celebrated his 22nd birthday back in April.

Final Decision = Learning Process

I received the news Friday afternoon. It's final now. The other insurance company has denied the claim. The lady who ran the red light, damaging my vehicle and injuring my daughter and me, has walked away free and clear. Her insurance does not have to pay for the damage that has been done. Because of an inaccurate police report. 

I have been angry. For a little over three weeks now my car has been sitting in the body repair shop, just waiting. I have been in physical pain from the injuries I sustained in the accident. For three weeks now I have just been waiting.

And in the waiting, God has used this time to teach me much. If God is God, then He is sovereign. It is within His will to work as He pleases in my life. I have to assure myself that God has my best interests at heart, that He (and not I) knows what is best for me, in all things. The question I must ask myself is this: Do I trust Him?

Do I trust that He knows what is best? Do I believe that this whole incident has turned out so wrongly because He has allowed it to be so? For reasons that may be known only to Him.

In these three weeks of waiting, I have been learning to wait on Him, to wait in His presence. Have I been asking Him to help the insurance company to make a decision in my favor? Yes, I have. Have I been so focused on me? On my perceived needs and wants? Yes, I have.

Have I, even once, asked Him to bring glory to His name through this? Have I asked how I could honor Him in this? No, sadly, I have not.

Until now.

As I have pondered all this, I have been reminded of something that I have forgotten along the way: God never promised that everything would be easy in my life, that everything would always work out just like I think it should. Simply put, God never promised that life would be fair. He never said that I wouldn't have to be uncomfortable sometimes, that I wouldn't have to suffer sometimes.

He also said that He would never leave me nor forsake me. When it seems as if nothing is going right, and everything has gone all wrong, I can take comfort in knowing that God is for me. That He is on my side. That He is working all things together for my good, and His glory.

As you can imagine, we've had lots of advice from well-meaning friends and family. The most popular advice being to hire an attorney and take the insurance company to court. Don't think we haven't thought about it, discussed it, considered it. It seems like the most probable solution to cover the debt we have incurred because of this accident.

But as we have been praying, my husband and I don't feel like this is the path the Lord would have us take. My ways are not your ways; My thoughts are not your thoughts.

In the end, I have to put it all in God's hands. And I have to leave it there. I can't keep taking it back, thinking there is anything I can do to fix it. I have done all I can. I have talked to the police officer, asking him to make the report right. I have talked to the insurance agent, asking her to consider the statements from the eyewitnesses. I have prayed, asking God to let this insurance company assume liability. I have done all I can.

So, no it didn't work out at all like I expected it to. Am I concerned about how much this will cost, and what my insurance won't cover? Yes, of course. But I have to let go and trust God. He is sovereign. He knew this would happen. And He knew how it would turn out. As I am still learning, He sees the beginning from the end. This is just another piece of the puzzle, and He sees the completed project when I can't.

 

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.

Our Wild Weekend

We traveled to north Georgia Friday night for our school's football game (our daughter is a cheerleader). We were told to pack an overnight bag, that we might have to spend the night because there was a big possibility that the game would have to be stopped due to thunderstorms. We had dd pack a bag, but I didn't pack anything for the rest of the family. Our plans were to return home the same night due to the fact that we had our second IMPACT class coming up the following day.

Just Another Typical Week... Not!

Okay, so I knew things would be a little different, but I really didn't expect it to be THIS dramatic. We started school last week, on August 9th. Dd was excited about "going" to school this year. It was fun shopping for school clothes (as they have a dress code at school). It was exciting buying and gathering all those school supplies (albeit somewhat draining on the pocketbook). But... as Monday morning rolled around, she suddenly didn't seem so excited, or sure about this "going" to school business.

Dh and I tried to encourage her, spoke kind words of affirmation to her, assured her that these jittery feelings are a normal response when encountering something new, different. Still, she didn't seem convinced, but she wanted to try.

She did okay until mid-morning when, in her geography class, the teacher called on her to read aloud. She told me that it all went downhill from there. She tried to describe to me what she felt... "My voice was trembling, I could barely speak above a whisper, my heart was pounding and I couldn't hear anything except a loud roaring sound in my ears. I thought I was about to faint."

I've been there and done that! I have a real fear of speaking and/or reading aloud in front of others. In the days preceeding the start of school, I tried to discuss some of the things that she could expect that would be different from what she is used to, having been home-schooled.

She told me that in her Algebra class, the teacher covered the material so quickly she couldn't keep up. In the rest of her classes, she was so afraid that she would be called on to read aloud again. Needless to say, she spent much time in the bathroom, she couldn't eat her lunch and her stomach was upset and in pain all day. All in all, a miserable first day of school for my dd.

Now, for most people, I am sure this is just a normal part of life; but for dd, this is not good. She is the nervous, worrying sort (in a serious way)... so much so that it has caused a great deal of irritation in her stomach lining, which causes much pain for her. She has been on medication for this for about a year now, but after this day we felt that another visit to the doctor was in order.

He changed some of her medicines, suggested that we try altering (again) her diet, and try eliminating some of the sources of stress so that her stomach can heal itself. Dh made a trip to the school to speak to the teachers, and all are more than happy to help in whatever way they can (specifically not having her read aloud or speak in front of the class, for now). The algebra teacher already stays after school to help students, so dd makes a quick stop by her class if she had trouble with the lesson that day.

We are doing what we can to help her, most importantly we are lifting her up in prayer to our heavenly Father, and pointing her to Him in her time of need. I don't really understand why a child so young can spend so much time worrying about all the what-ifs in life, and stressing over even the smallest of concerns. She has been this way as long as I can remember. Yes, she knows what God says in His Word about worrying. We have talked to her about it; she has read it for herself. Applying what she knows... that's a different story.

We let her know that the door will always be open to come back to home-schooling. She has chosen to stay and finish the first semester, and then we will re-evaluate and decide what is best. She said that each day of last week seemed a little better than the first. She did comment that it doesn't take all day to finish the school work and the school day doesn't really need to be that long (lol). And that if she didn't love to participate in sports so much, coming back home would be a no-brainer!

She is enjoying cheerleading tremendously, and I think that is helping alot. On Friday, we went to the school to watch the pep rally. She seemed a little nervous to me, but she did great! And I think that being on the cheer squad and being in front of the crowd will help her to overcome her shyness and hopefully the nervousness. I have a feeling that when this semester comes to an end, she is going to be well-adjusted to life at school.

Our Heart

One more post before I go to bed...

I am so excited to announce that today we officially began the adoption process!

No, we don't know who we'll be adopting, or exactly when. This is something our whole family has been in prayer about for quite some time now. We don't know if we'll be taking into our family a little one from some other country, or someone right here in our own state. We just know that after much prayer on our part, the Lord has finally said, "Go."

Right now, we are in phase one, better known as "the paper-chase." We've filled out paperwork, had our names added to a list of prospective adoptive parents. We will await the confirmation of an orientation, then we will begin a seven week course study, undergo home evaluations, interviews with our children (that part makes me a little nervous, having DFACS workers questioning my children about their home life, because after all, we do spank, and we homeschool...lol) and many more requirements to satisfy someone's idea of a good parent!

We are excited to see where God leads. We have friends who have adopted internationally, and when the Lord first began speaking to my heart about adoption, I just assumed that's where He would lead us. International adoptions are very expensive and I'm not concerned about that because I know that if that is His will, then He will supply the funds. But so far, no funds have come pouring in (lol). However, that didn't stop us from praying and seeking God's heart on this issue.

It seems to me (and to my dh as well) that He could be leading us to adopt here in the U.S. So, I set up an appointment with the Department of Family and Children's Services right here in our town. And that's where we are now...

In the "hurry up and wait" stage.

My Father-in-Law

The doctors decided not to do surgery yesterday. We're not sure why; they said his coumadin levels were in the target zone and that should not pose a problem. They just said they thought it best to wait. Some family members were a little miffed about the postponement; but I say God knows why we need to wait. He is in control and we will trust Him.

My dh decided last night that he and our dd would drive up this morning to be there for the surgery this afternoon. He felt that it would be best for our two sons and I to stay put for now. Oldest son doesn't want to miss any days at school (if he can help it) so he can exempt from finals. I am heading up a field trip for our homeschool group tomorrow...wasn't sure whether to postpone it and go on up with dh. And as for youngest son, I just knew what a long day it would be to spend at the hospital with him (the hospital is not in their hometown, so we would be just sitting at the hospital).

Now...after having said all that, I'm just not sure if it was the right thing to do. I know that all the other "stuff" we have going on is just that - stuff, unimportant stuff in the light of what really matters. It doesn't really matter in the long run if oldest son has to take final exams, if we miss AWANA tonight and a field trip tomorrow, or if youngest son is bored to tears and drives me crazy while sitting in hospital waiting room. However, dh really thinks this is what I should do and if complications arise, then the boys and I will just pack up and drive up there. Life is so hard sometimes.

Please continue to pray that all goes well with fil's surgery today.