I realized I haven't shared an update about our adoption process in a while. Not that there's much to share.
There have been no calls from our resource developer for a few months now. Back before Thanksgiving, we did receive an email asking if we'd be interested in a sibling group of 3. Their picture was just beautiful. Three little brothers, aged 2, 3, and 4. If I could figure a way to use symbols on this keyboard to depict my jaw dropping, I would! Three little boys 4 and under??? Was this some kind of joke? Didn't we already prove that we are no match for little fellas in that age group?
Ok, all joking aside, I sent the email along to Mike at work with a little comment attached, "Aren't they just the cutest?" "Precious" was his reply. That's all he said. So, I asked if he thought we should consider it, if we should seriously pray and see if this is what God wanted us to do. His response was to gently remind me about how I handled our previous foster placement. And he did agree that we should pray about it, but he still feels that we are going to adopt an older child. And only one. At a time.
But, I'm beginning to wonder. I mean, really, the Lord has not brought opportunities for an older child, and not just one child either. Twice now, He's crossed our paths with really young sibling groups. So to be honest, I don't know what to think anymore. All I know to do is to keep praying, and to follow my husband's leading in this.
I am disappointed. My heart is heavy. I really thought by now we'd already have a new member in our family. I think about it all the time, keep wondering. It's sad, too, because my kids seem to have lost faith -- they rarely talk about it at all anymore. So the thought does flutter through my mind, is this really what He wants us to do?
But deep down, I know that it is what He wants us to do. He hasn't taken away the longing I feel to open my heart and home to a precious little one. I know what He has to say about caring for the orphan, and I know without a doubt that He has burdened my heart for the orphan. And He confirms it through the guidance and direction of my husband, who feels the same way I do.
Even though my heart is heavy, and the way seems unclear, I will keep waiting, and praying, and trusting Him.
"Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!" Psalm 27:14